Biting through my soul
I’m best fueled with spontaneity and I know that very well. This is why having to task myself with a topic to write about is honestly a torture, even more so when there is no definite answer to this seemingly simple question.
Writing, to me, is more of a journey than a destination. There isn’t exactly something I try to attain out of writing, no particular reason or answer. The more I write, the reasons as to why I write keeps piling on, just like accumulating granules on an overbuilt sand dune. Nevertheless, I will try to answer this question to the best of my ability in the format of 5 ‘W’s and 1 ‘H’. I thought it might be an unique way to tell my story though the format isn’t the best suit. Let’s get started!
I have no idea the exact date I started writing. But if there is a time that I had to date back to, it would be in 2008 when I started on this thing called “fan fiction”. Putting it up against any other forms of writing or literature out there, fan fiction pales in comparison undoubtedly. However, I never regretted being part of the fan fiction writing community though I never quite publicized it. I am grateful that the time I spent as an adolescent spinning tales that lacked extensively in realism and literary value deepened my interest in writing.
I used to write for people who read what I write. As simple as that. Back in the days when I was still actively writing fan fictions, I had my fair share of readers and a small circle of people who adored my work despite that they were far from great. I guess there is a certain validity in the proverb – beauty is in eye of the beholder. I tend to get more motivated when I receive positive comments about my work. Turns out, it became a vicious cycle – My motivation to write gradually dwindled when I lost readers or received less comments and dropped the entire fan fiction writing as a whole. I came to realize that ultimately, motivation has to stem from within. And that doesn’t only apply to writing but to any and every thing you do in life.
Now, I want to write for myself.
I would like to rekindle the lost love I had for writing. I am no longer going to be concerned about the readers, the comments (good or bad) or what others might think of me and what I write. There are bound to be people who adore your work, there are bound to be people who find it ill-suited to their tastes… So why not make yourself your very own fan? I am learning to embrace who I am – my thoughts, my emotions, my writing and everything about myself. If I am weird, I am loving it.
You’re not gonna believe me if I told you about my love for language. Growing up in multi-ethnic Singapore, I was exposed to myriad of languages since young. English is the language I best express myself with (or so I think). Chinese is a language part of my everyday life and I find a certain connection with Mandarin songs as they are best able to speak the depths of my heart. Korean is the language I fell in love with (or maybe it’s the culture, K-POP, whatever) and it is a language I wish to master. I am amazed at how I am able to express myself differently with each individual language and how each of them mean differently to me.
It is fascinating how language is an intrinsic part of us yet empowers humans with the ability to create powerful images, evoke emotions with the use of words simply put together. Such fascination has led to my aspiration of becoming a linguist and it is required of me to master the written and spoken language. Simply put, I write not only because I enjoy writing (a lot) but it also fulfills a greater purpose as I dream to become a linguist.
What (am I going to be writing about)?
I have written fan fictions about humanoids, someone plagued with heart disease and dying, teenage moms etc., basically whatever strange plots and characters my imagination has led me to. Truthfully speaking, I don’t know what I am going to be writing about.
I enjoy telling stories and getting to be my very own director. I enjoy writing from the point of view of the main character, a dead flower, an inanimate object… everything goes! I love where my imagination takes me to. And what I love the most would be having myself pleasantly surprised when I read back on my own writing and think to myself – whoa I wrote that?!
Hence, I am not going to limit myself to any genre, writing styles or any form of literature. But I am also not forgetting about the very reason why I created this “blog” (more like where weird thoughts and ramblings are all compiled) in the first place and that is to give my readers a glimpse of the people and happenings in my life. In conclusion, it’s gonna be a travel and lifestyle blog, a diary, a place where I vent my emotions, a dumping ground for all of my out of this world thoughts… whatever.
Where (do I go from now)?
Seoul! In the literal sense.
In less than 30 days, I’ll be venturing into Seoul and kicking off my 2 year stint at Seoul National University as a language student. I’m expecting loads of new people, new places, new experiences and that is going to be a lot to blog about!
How (am I going to be different)?
Blogs like mine are a dime a dozen, so how am I going to be different? I neither have superb language abilities nor do I have the wealth of knowledge to share with the world. Albeit, I do dream big – I dream to bring something different into the writing scene. I wish to write as though I am speaking to you. I would love having my writing serve as a window to my world and share my opinions and experiences with you. I hope you will walk away with a new, less run-of-the-mill perspective on things after reading my blog. This is my small yet extravagant wish.
Now having done with this long and windy post, it’s my turn to pose the question…
Why do you write?